Knifey Spoony for Lovers

The symphony of a thousand years is in my rectum.

Scherzo for Schizos

Promote a concert that you know will never happen.

On the evening of the concert, show up with a kazoo and a banjo and attempt to play the Star Spangled Banner.

Diving Bells

Play the violin until your fingers bleed.

Boston Area Singles Chat

Flip over the nearest chair.

Feeble Minded Horsethieves

Right uh letter using all the wrong homonyms.

Tomorrow, right forteen letters. A pear four each day of the week.

Peach.

Sweet Breads

Chlorine Gas is not a toy.

Monsterously Dangerous Chemical Clouds

Eat nothing but soybeans for 7 days.

The following 7 days, eat nothing but pepperoni.

Take scientific records of bowel movements including size, shape, consistency and smell.

Bonus FluxPoints for pictures and blogs regarding this experiment.

Repeat ad nauseum.